Sunday, August 13th, 2017
Writing a blog has become similar to my artwork, articles started but not completed. This post I intend to finish in one sitting, and progress towards finishing what I start. What I’m writing about today is a little different than my previous work. I am going in a route that is more personal than fashion related. With that being said, this morning was odd compared to others. The first emotion I had when I opened my eyes was lost, along with the sensation to cry. I didn’t have a problem with it, we all need a nice cry every now and then.
What was different about this was that I wasn’t able to shed tears. Once I was able to make it out of bed, I decided to go for a walk. My thought was that being outdoors would clear my head. Quite the opposite occurred. The urge to cry increased and the power to release this emotion became weaker. The more effort I put into crying, the more lost I felt. As my walk progressed, I kept asking myself what the core of this emotion was. When I stopped working on trying to reach the point of tears, it hit me. There was multiple reasons for my feelings.
My first realization; how I felt emotionally relates to how I’ve been feeling about my work. Although I’ve posted jewelry that I’ve created recently, the remainder of my inventory is older. My career as an artist has begun creating jewelry from recycle materials. I’ve reached this point where I would like to move onto something new, but I cannot seem to cross the road to do so. I’ve focused on bringing myself to create more jewelry, I’ve tried, but I fall short because my heart isn’t in it. My heart wants more.
As I was walking and taking in my surroundings, I realized this is not where I belong. With every step I took, litter was what my eyes were drawn to. I feel I won’t reach my maximum potential in a community where humanity isn’t caring for the environment. By creating fashion from recycled materials I feel I will be able to reach people who are aware of how our actions impact the world. Today I’ve asked myself how to reach those who are unaware or just don’t care to change their ways. Without reaching people who don’t make an effort to care for their surroundings, I won’t ever be satisfied.
With what I realized today, I know what I need to work on. To find satisfaction as an artist, I must stop procrastinating and purchase a sewing machine. I feel I put steps like this off because I fear reaching the point where I feel fulfilled. It’s like I’d rather let myself do the bare minimum, instead of what I need to do to reach my full potential. I see myself becoming an icon who speaks for the planet. Nature is such a sacred, beautiful, and peaceful piece of our world, but we abuse it. I intend to achieve this goal by continuing to create upcycled products along with my feature actions.